It is finally here, folks! The time that I have been eagerly awaiting, and the time you all have been dreading. The release of my second novel, Life is no Fairytale, is upon us. Now I shall zip throughout cyberspace leaving news about my latest release all over the place while you all groan and silently ask that I stop bombarding you with this stuff. Facebook friends will mysteriously disappear, and Twitter followers will unfollow. Those who subscribe to my blog will delete their email notifications, unread. Ah! Being an author among the independent presses is a wonderful experience, I must say.

Now gather around all you under the sound of my virtual voice–which sounds a lot like Barry White, by the way–and let me tell you why Life is no Fairytale is worth the purchase. Let me tell you why Life is no Fairytale is worth your six dollars. I’m not going to point out the fact that you have the Twilight saga sitting on your bookshelves, which ran you about fifty dollars. I’m not going to point out the fact that you have Fifty Shades of Grey on your eReader, or that Zane is secretly your favorite author. I’m not going to point out any of these embarrassing facts. What I will point out, though, is that these books were written by women (and I’m not sure if a woman wrote Fifty Shades, but it’s a safe bet). Women own the romance market, and rightfully so, it’s a dreadfully boring genre. Now hold on! No need for you ladies to get all uptight. We all know that romance novels are full of talk, talk, blabbity talk, that eventually leads to a quick romp in the stable, or behind some bush, or on the deck of some boat. That’s the only reason people read romance novels anyway; in hopes of reaching the part where the wind blows through the crack of some woman’s naked arse while they make love to a stranger. My novel has none of that, and you want to know why? Well, first, my novel is suitable for both the mature and young crowd. Second, my novel was written by me, a man, and romance appears to be different for men than it is women. While sex is so abundant for women–so much so that they can stumble across it in a stank barn–it tends to be elusive for most men. Even married men who have a marriage license that guarantees them action rarely see any. If you’re looking for reading material that has a terrible plot, and lots of sex, you might want to try picking up a playboy.

You’re probably asking yourself, “What does his novel offer if there’s no sex involved?” Well, I’m glad you asked, you undercover pervert. My novel offers a tale of romance from a man’s point of view. It contains love, heartache, and humor to keep things from getting too mushy and boring. My character, Carmichael Lee Jones, will snare your attention in the beginning as he awaits his beautiful bride, Jocelyn. He takes you on a journey, back to when he first met Jocelyn in middle school. Carmichael talks about how the two of them were torn apart by circumstances, and blessed to be reunited in highschool, only to be broken up again by heartache. Through a series of unforseen events, Carmichael and Jocelyn come together once more as adults despite unfavorable circumstances. And as Carmichael recalls the passage he and Jocelyn took, the wedding is steadily progressing around him. The book is called Life is no Fairytale because in real life, true love is rarely a quick and easy thing to obtain, and it never seems to work out like you imagine it should. Life is no Fairytale is titled that because it was inspired by the Grimm Brothers’ fairytale Rapunzel which is not a pretty story itself; therefore, my title is saying, even a fairytale isn’t a fairytale.

Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “Well, that sounds like a bunch of talkity-talk and it doesn’t even lead to a sex scene.” And you’re probably right, but there’s a distinct difference between my ramblings and someone else’s ramblings. Mine is interesting, and a person who reviewed my debut novel, The BoogeyMann, even made the same comment.

 …Big thumbs up for originality, this is not the story it seems to be at first glance. Starting with a humorous twist at the end of the first chapter, Bennie takes a family of seemingly ordinary people and weaves a peculiar but intriguing story that keeps you on the edge of your seat. It takes real talent to make what seems so mundane on the surface into something so interesting.

Now you know about my novel, Life is no Fairytale. I highly recommend that you check it out for yourself. At least do yourself a favor. Read something that you don’t have to hide from your children, or spouse–and I’m talking about your dirty little secret, the Twilight saga. Heck, you’ll even find yourself sharing this novel with your family because it’s a must read by all. Life is no Fairytale is now available. If you have an eReader, that’s marvelous. If you don’t, that’s still no excuse. eBooks are available in multiple formats so you can download them to anything. If you’re reading this blog, then you have the capability to download an eBook, and even offers free Kindle downloads for the PC. Check it out. Where can you go to find my latest novel? I’m glad you asked.

Desert Breeze Publishing website:

And it’s available on amazon:

I hope you enjoy. If you liked my novel, let me know. If it wasn’t your cup of tea, I thank your for your patronage anyhow. God bless… May the Force be with you… Peace–whatever your inclination.

–the Ravings of a Madman

  1. mskatykins says:

    What? No Sex? I’m not buying that…! 😉

    Ha – is it available for kindle UK? This sounds very exciting, I’m looking forward to being able to track down a copy for myself. I am just a couple of chapters into your book. I want to read it quicker but I’m in the process of moving back home and I have a lot of borrowed books that I need to return to friends up here first (such pressure, lol!). That twist that your reviewer commented on, at the end of the first chapter, made me laugh so hard! Seriously. I ended up annoying my man and reading the entire excerpt to him – such a hoot! I LOVED it! 🙂

    (Bennie, did you know you were the first person to like your post! 😉 :p )

    Congratulations, Bennie – what a wonderful achievement. You are really on a roll!

  2. blnewsome says:

    LOL, yep, no sex. A bunch of lewd remarks, but no sex. And it is available for the UK. I meant to post the link for my friends overseas, but I forgot. Here it is now: Three pounds, and ninety pence. 🙂 You taught me something, lol. Glad you liked the first chapter. 🙂 It actually started out as a short story that got rejected, and I eventually turned it into the prelude of my novel. It’s awesome that you liked it enough to read it out loud! I always love it when people say they had to read it out loud to someone.
    🙂 And I did like my post first. I had scrolled down to the bottom and saw that I had to option of liking my own post. I said, “Seriously?” So I clicked it and my avatar appeared while saying that I liked my post. It also gave me the option of following my own blog, but I decided not to experiment with that one, lol.
    Thanks for the congrats, and I hope to have more work forthcoming. I haven’t completed an entire novel all year. I finally got the ball rolling on one I’m working on called “Lucifer’s Legacy”. Starting it is the easy part, reaching the finish line is hard.

    • mskatykins says:

      Bennie, where have you been hiding? D’you know I keep meaning to review your book – ‘The Boogey Mann’. Oh my god, I was reading it in bed to begin with (I stopped doing that once I reached the scary bits! 😉 ) and I laughed so hard at the end of the first chapter. It was hysterical! Such a hoot! 🙂 Hope life’s treating you guys well! 🙂

      • blnewsome says:

        Hey, Mskatykins! I’m glad you enjoyed the book! That means a lot to me. As far as where I’ve been hiding, I’m still here. My writing time has narrowed even more now that Benjamin only takes one nap a day and has learned to walk. Parenthood is very rewarding and at the same time it’s prison. But life is treating us well. 🙂 I could probably read your blogs (which I still subscribe to) and get the answer, but I’d rather ask you, “How are things on your end?” 😉

      • mskatykins says:

        LOL! I’m glad to see Benjamin continues to keep you on your toes! Hope you’ve got some notebooks to doodle in as he inspires you! 🙂 Glad you guys are well. I really did enjoy the book. It totally wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought we would continue on the random humour/practical joking, I wasn’t expecting that further sinister edge! Ha ha! I thoroughly enjoyed it! 🙂

        Things are going really well with me, thanks. Still just plodding on. I’m enjoying university but missing getting paid for having a ‘proper job’. Lol! 🙂

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