Posts Tagged ‘amazon’

“Hello?” That lone words echoes throughout this empty chamber. “Anyone here?”

"Life is No Fairytale", "Agape", "The BoogeyMann": these titles can be found at Amazon.com

“Life is No Fairytale”, “Agape”, “The BoogeyMann”: these titles can be found at Amazon.com

Man, it’s been a long time since I’ve been here raving about whatever random thought that happened to cross my mind (clears dust from the furniture as I move about the place nostalgically). The Ravings of a Madman. That’s what this blog was all about. There was no advice given. No interviews posted. Nothing to really help anyone who stumbled along my blog. Just me raving, like some senile old man you might come across in your daily travels. (Clicks the light switch into the on position, illuminating the space). I actually missed this place. You see, I’m a writer. I was a full-time writer, dedicating at least eight hours a day to my craft. Not everything I wrote was good. Some of my stuff is genius. My young adult, horror novel, “The BoogeyMann” is pretty sweet. It has a four and a half star rating on Amazon, eight reviews. There’s my young adult, romance, “Life is no Fairytale.” In my opinion, it’s better than my debut novel. My latest release is “Agape”, a Christian, fantasy novel — my greatest body of work so far. Yep. I was a full-time writer, then my son Benjamin came along last year. With his arrival, I was instantly promoted to a stay-at-home dad like that guy on “Doc McStuffin” — you can’t see it, but I’m shrugging nonchalantly. Anyway, Benjamin demands a lot of my attention, resulting in me not being able to work like I use to. I thought I would have more time to work the older he got, but that turned out to be untrue. The more he grows the more mobile he becomes, and the more he moves about the more attention he warrants. I wouldn’t trade my son for anything in the world though, and thankfully I’ve been able to coast on my previous year of nonstop work.

My pride and joy, Benjamin.

My pride and joy, Benjamin.

That’s enough about me. I didn’t come here to give you a history lesson, but I thought it important to reintroduce myself. The reason I am here is to rave. What’s on the Madman’s mind today? Shameless advertising to children. There’s a previous blog of mine where I rave about advertisements. I hate advertisements. I think they should be only ten seconds, or less. They should have a lone person in front of a camera while holding the product they want to sell, and a plain background would suffice. Tell me what it is, what it does, then say goodbye — like a James Patterson book commercial. So you see my dislike for commercials, but there is something I hate more than aggravating advertisements. I hate commercials for kids.

 

 

 

This image from "Poltergeist" best illustrates advertisement effects on children.

This image from “Poltergeist” best illustrates advertisement effects on children.

Kids are gullible by nature and they want everything you put before them. My son Benjamin is not of the age where he  repeats, “I want that!” all day long, but the time will come and I don’t appreciate commercials that tell kids what to do. “Go ask your parents to take you to our website.” “Tell your parents to buy you this now.” “Drink water instead of soda.” “Go outside and play.” First of all, I know how to raise my child. Don’t come into my house and tell him to go outside and play. You don’t know where I live and if it’s a safe environment. I know how to distribute water and soda. Maybe I don’t want my child on my computer, and don’t have my kid asking for something you (advertisers) and I both know he doesn’t need. What makes me so angry about advertisements tailored for kids is the fact that they know parents are not so easily persuaded so they brainwash the children. Then these mindless zombies come to the adults begging for this and demanding that. Children are not smart enough to read the small print on these commercials. The small print that says, “We’re not responsible for any whippings you might incur.” And a spanking is what my child will get if he becomes a middleman for the money grubbing ad firms.

Sure, there are ways to limit a child’s exposure to stranger danger: lessen a child’s TV time, streaming from programs like Netflix, buying relatively commercial free DVD’s, or monitoring what they watch. Any of these methods could work, but it still burns me up to know that those no good scoundrels are still out there.

http://www.bnewsome.yolasite.com

www.nubieninks.yolasite.com

It is finally here, folks! The time that I have been eagerly awaiting, and the time you all have been dreading. The release of my second novel, Life is no Fairytale, is upon us. Now I shall zip throughout cyberspace leaving news about my latest release all over the place while you all groan and silently ask that I stop bombarding you with this stuff. Facebook friends will mysteriously disappear, and Twitter followers will unfollow. Those who subscribe to my blog will delete their email notifications, unread. Ah! Being an author among the independent presses is a wonderful experience, I must say.

Now gather around all you under the sound of my virtual voice–which sounds a lot like Barry White, by the way–and let me tell you why Life is no Fairytale is worth the purchase. Let me tell you why Life is no Fairytale is worth your six dollars. I’m not going to point out the fact that you have the Twilight saga sitting on your bookshelves, which ran you about fifty dollars. I’m not going to point out the fact that you have Fifty Shades of Grey on your eReader, or that Zane is secretly your favorite author. I’m not going to point out any of these embarrassing facts. What I will point out, though, is that these books were written by women (and I’m not sure if a woman wrote Fifty Shades, but it’s a safe bet). Women own the romance market, and rightfully so, it’s a dreadfully boring genre. Now hold on! No need for you ladies to get all uptight. We all know that romance novels are full of talk, talk, blabbity talk, that eventually leads to a quick romp in the stable, or behind some bush, or on the deck of some boat. That’s the only reason people read romance novels anyway; in hopes of reaching the part where the wind blows through the crack of some woman’s naked arse while they make love to a stranger. My novel has none of that, and you want to know why? Well, first, my novel is suitable for both the mature and young crowd. Second, my novel was written by me, a man, and romance appears to be different for men than it is women. While sex is so abundant for women–so much so that they can stumble across it in a stank barn–it tends to be elusive for most men. Even married men who have a marriage license that guarantees them action rarely see any. If you’re looking for reading material that has a terrible plot, and lots of sex, you might want to try picking up a playboy.

You’re probably asking yourself, “What does his novel offer if there’s no sex involved?” Well, I’m glad you asked, you undercover pervert. My novel offers a tale of romance from a man’s point of view. It contains love, heartache, and humor to keep things from getting too mushy and boring. My character, Carmichael Lee Jones, will snare your attention in the beginning as he awaits his beautiful bride, Jocelyn. He takes you on a journey, back to when he first met Jocelyn in middle school. Carmichael talks about how the two of them were torn apart by circumstances, and blessed to be reunited in highschool, only to be broken up again by heartache. Through a series of unforseen events, Carmichael and Jocelyn come together once more as adults despite unfavorable circumstances. And as Carmichael recalls the passage he and Jocelyn took, the wedding is steadily progressing around him. The book is called Life is no Fairytale because in real life, true love is rarely a quick and easy thing to obtain, and it never seems to work out like you imagine it should. Life is no Fairytale is titled that because it was inspired by the Grimm Brothers’ fairytale Rapunzel which is not a pretty story itself; therefore, my title is saying, even a fairytale isn’t a fairytale.

Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “Well, that sounds like a bunch of talkity-talk and it doesn’t even lead to a sex scene.” And you’re probably right, but there’s a distinct difference between my ramblings and someone else’s ramblings. Mine is interesting, and a person who reviewed my debut novel, The BoogeyMann, even made the same comment.

 …Big thumbs up for originality, this is not the story it seems to be at first glance. Starting with a humorous twist at the end of the first chapter, Bennie takes a family of seemingly ordinary people and weaves a peculiar but intriguing story that keeps you on the edge of your seat. It takes real talent to make what seems so mundane on the surface into something so interesting.

Now you know about my novel, Life is no Fairytale. I highly recommend that you check it out for yourself. At least do yourself a favor. Read something that you don’t have to hide from your children, or spouse–and I’m talking about your dirty little secret, the Twilight saga. Heck, you’ll even find yourself sharing this novel with your family because it’s a must read by all. Life is no Fairytale is now available. If you have an eReader, that’s marvelous. If you don’t, that’s still no excuse. eBooks are available in multiple formats so you can download them to anything. If you’re reading this blog, then you have the capability to download an eBook, and Amazon.com even offers free Kindle downloads for the PC. Check it out. Where can you go to find my latest novel? I’m glad you asked.

Desert Breeze Publishing website: http://stores.desertbreezepublishing.com/-strse-339/Life-is-No-Fairy/Detail.bok

And it’s available on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Life-Is-Fairy-Tale-ebook/dp/B0094I00EA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1346592310&sr=8-2&keywords=Life+is+no+Fairytale

I hope you enjoy. If you liked my novel, let me know. If it wasn’t your cup of tea, I thank your for your patronage anyhow. God bless… May the Force be with you… Peace–whatever your inclination.

–the Ravings of a Madman

(review was transferred from my website: http://www.bnewsome. yolasite.com)

Every once in a while, I’ll read some crappy piece of writing that makes me scowl at the Independent Presses. Then I come across writing like that in Little Bernie’s Map and I think Independent Presses aren’t all bad. Of course, Little Bernie’s Map was not published by an Independent Press, but you understand what I’m saying.

I met Troy (virtually, mind you) a few months ago when I was participating in NaNoWriMo for the first time. November is long gone, but we keep in touch through Twitter’s #WW and #FF and the occasional clicking of the like button on Facebook–best of acquaintances. Anyway, I caught wind of Troy’s short story on Facebook. He was giving the book away on Amazon for a limited time, and I thought, What the hey! It’s free, why not get it? So I downloaded the short story and let it sit on my Kindle for PC with the other stuff that I don’t read. Mind you, I have been disheartened by some of the work I’ve read from Independent Presses, so I don’t read them too much. I also hate reading stories on my computer. It feels too much like work. So Troy’s story sat there and I was content to let it be, that is, until I needed someone else’s work to feature on my website. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of seeing The BoogeyMann stuff all over my website. I wanted a breath of fresh air, so I thought, Let me see what Troy’s story is about.

I must say that I respect Troy as a writer, and I didn’t want to lose that respect by reading any of his work. Once again, it’s my experience with the Indie Presses. I found that I respect a writer, read their work, find myself thinking, What the hell was that? then lose said respect. Disheartening, like I said before. However, after reading Little Bernie’s Map, my respect for Troy grew. The man is a talented writer and this was showcased in his short story about a family returning home from vacation they couldn’t afford. Daniel, the main character, has just been laid-off; therefore, he and his wife anticipate harsh times to come. As the story progresses, their son Bernie is discovered to have a map (given to him by a stranger) and this map proves to have some mystical powers. The tale was full of wonderful imagery and I was so impressed that I went and purchased another story of Troy’s, The Uninvited Guest. This one won’t be sitting on my computer collecting…dust…in a manner of speaking. When you get a chance, go on over to Amazon and get an ebook copy of Little Bernie’s Map. It’s only 99 cents. What the hey? Why not?