Posts Tagged ‘writer’

I write with a baby in my lap. What's your excuse?

I write with a baby in my lap. What’s your excuse?

I planned on writing my trademark blog — humorous and in your face — but I just don’t have it in me right now. It’s midnight. My fiancée is asleep, my child is asleep, and that’s where I want to be so let’s get this over with.

Aaron Gudmunson asked me to participate in something entitled Coming Soon! Blog Hop. I agreed because Aaron is a good guy. Then there’s the fact that I’m trying to be more social and less of a recluse. So I agreed to participate, but it’s one of those “chain letter” type blog post where you post a blog then get three more to do the same. If you’ve read any of my blogs before — which you probably haven’t — I have a great disdain for chain letters. Phut! <That’s me spitting. I spit on chain letters. But like I said, Aaron is a good guy. I met him in an anthology, I don’t remember which one, but I do remember his story and I liked it. Check him out over at http://coldbrood.blogspot.com/, but whatever you do, don’t come back here. I’m rarely here anymore. But wait! Don’t go just yet. I have some news to share and a ridiculously generic interview to do. Stay with me long enough to read what I have to say then click on whatever link you want to take you away from here and don’t come back. Not because I don’t like you. I’m rarely here is all.

Before the interview I want to share some things with you. I would wait until after the interview, but I’m afraid you won’t last that long — premature evacuation is what the kids are calling it nowadays.

May 2, I have a humorous piece of work going up over at http://thehiggsweldon.com/. If the beginning of relationships started out as a job interview, how would the resumes look? Well, I wrote a resume in which a guy is trying to get the job of being some girl’s new squeeze. Check it out if you get the chance. If you forget, come back here, click on the link, then never return.

I also have a legitimate interview scheduled to appear May 6 over at http://cemeteryflower.blog.com/. Click on the link, locate the “Isolation” tab, and find my name. Should be fun.

I think that’s it. Are you still there? Good. Just hang on a little while longer. I swear I’m almost done. <That’s what he said. Here’s my Coming Soon! Blog Hop interview.

What are you working on right now?

Have you ever read a book or watched a movie and thought, Man! I wish I thought of that first. I think that all the time. If I had a time machine, I would procure a busload of novels and travel back to before they were written and write them first. None of Stephen King works. What Stephen King writes should only be written by Stephen King, but I’d definitely become the author of Pirates of the Caribbean. Anyway, back to the point I’m trying to make. All of my current works in progress are kept top secret – with the exception of the publishers I submit to and literary agents, and I cross my t’s and dot my i’s with them too – until it’s published. Yeah, that’s how original my ideas are.

However, I can say that I am currently working on short stories for pro market venues with the intention of spreading my name and establishing a greater reputation. And I must say things are going very well so far.

Next question please.
How does it differ from other works in its genre?

Well, my work has by Bennie L. Newsome on the cover page. No other work in its genre has that.

Next question please.

What experiences have influenced you?

I came into this writing game thinking all I had to do was write, present said writing to a publisher, and fame came instantly. That was foolish, amateurish thinking. Rejections taught me to write better, acceptances taught me not to say yes to everyone who told me yes. If you’re published in a forest and there’s no one around to read it, are you really published? No. And this revelation taught me not to submit to just anybody. In the end, my experiences have taught me to have more patience, my writing has evolved, my standards are higher and uncompromising, and I’m a whole lot closer to my goal than I was when I started.

Why do you write what you do?

I write what I do because it’s who I am. My work is humorous at times because I like to laugh. Horror is my favorite genre to read, so of course I’m going to write about horrifying situations. If you notice me give a shout out to God in my work, it’s because I know He exists. I prefer to write for young adults and middle graders because they still read just for the love of reading. They’re not dissecting every sentence and proofreading the entire time. This is why I write horror, humor, or Christian fantasy for young adults and middle graders.

How does your writing process work?

My work stems from a single idea. The BoogeyMann came from me asking, “What if a man scared his children as punishment instead of whipping them?” Life is no Fairytale came from me imagining the prince in Rapunzel climbing to a third floor apartment instead of making his way to the top of a tower.  Agape was born from the question, “What if these crows following me were actually angels in the guise of birds?” An idea presents itself to me and I just start writing, no outline. I never know what’s going to happen until it happens.
What is the hardest part about writing?

Finishing. I can start a story easy enough, but once I get to the middle I have to force myself to write, and by the time I near the finish line, I’m crawling. Probably comes from not having an outline.

What would you like to try as a writer that you haven’t yet?

Getting an advanced royalty check from a big publisher. I’d like to try that.

Who are the authors you most admire?

Stephen King. The man is a freaking genius. And I like James Patterson because his work can be ingested as easy as water, and he is a go getter. I love his work ethic. I also like John Grisham’s work, and J.R.R. Tolkien wrote my favorite books.

Who are new authors to watch out for?

How am I suppose to know? I’m too busy writing while reading the works of my role models. Plus, new authors are like roaches. There are a whole lot of us, we’re all over the place, and you never notice a particular one until it jumps off the wall and flutters in your face. And then you’re like, “Oh, s&%t! One of these damn writers flew in my face!” You slap ’em down and squash it with your foot.

However, this blog hopping dictates that I choose three writers to keep the “chain letter” going. I chose these authors (one didn’t respond and I don’t blame her), not because I’m familiar with their work — since I’m not. I chose them because they made an impact with me.

Rob Teun: He’s the most helpful guy I have ever met — probably because he’s from England. You don’t often see writers constantly promoting their peers, but Rob is always talking up others. He’s mentioning people on Twitter, Facebook, and he reads the works of others to leave reviews on designated websites. The guy is selfless, and because of that characteristic, I choose him as a new author to look out for. You can find his author’s page on https://www.facebook.com/rd.teun.3?fref=ts.

Shikhar Srivastava: He’s a fellow writer and Facebook friend. I always thought of him as a cool guy because of his posts, but one day – on Facebook – I proclaimed that I was on my way to being a bestselling novelist. Shikhar was the only one to comment on my post, and that comment was “#MeToo.” I watch as everyone writes and gets published and do “big” things, but still get nowhere. And they appear to be content with the hamster wheel. I, on the other hand, am shooting for the stars, and Shikhar earned my respect by stating that he shared the same intent. And for that, I chose him as a new author to look out for. Check out his blog space over at http://shikhartechlabs.wordpress.com/.

Alright. Final question, then I’m going to bed.

What scares you?

Just about everything. And because I know fear, I can write about it convincingly.

Good night. Thanks for stopping by, and don’t come back.

–The Ravings of a Madman

A blogger friend of mine, MsKatykins, asked how my son Benjamin was doing. Because no one wants to receive a response that’s the length of an essay, a respectful answer would be, “He’s fine. Just as active as ever. Thanks for asking!” That’s the proper way to answer such a question; however, I decided to blog my response because I’m not typical. I’m a writer who just so happens to have a kid, and that kid provides me with a lot of writing material. The child is a gold mine, or at least, he was a gold mine when he was younger. 

For those of you who have not been keeping count, Benjamin is six months now (he’ll be seven in a week). And during these last couple of months, the relationship my son and I have has matured. You’re probably saying to yourself that that’s good news, and I agree with you, but it doesn’t really leave me with a lot to rave about nowadays. You remember the ravings, don’t you? Well, most of you do. And for those of you who are new to The Ravings of a Madman, let me catch you up real quick. A few months ago, when Benjamin and I were getting to know each other, we were known to have our share of spats. After our falling outs, I would come here and blog about the arguments I (a grown man) had with an infant. 

And don’t get your dandruff up, no need to call child services. Our fights never ended in fisticuffs. We just got loud with one another. 

So, three months ago, Shardae went back to work leaving me and Benjamin to ourselves. It was rough going at first, and I will admit that I was terrified. I mean, who could I hand the baby off to when a problem arose — such as him crying for no particular reason. Well, I was forced to learn my baby and now there’s not a problem I can’t handle. As a matter of fact, I’m better with him than his mother (which I throw in her face on a regular basis), but that doesn’t stop him from favoring her more. For instance, he said his first word a couple of weeks ago, and it turned out to be “Momma.” Not “Dada”, who he looks to when he’s hungry, or needs a diaper change. His first word was “Momma.” That’s fine, though. I was just happy to hear him speak. Now, back to the point I was trying to make. Benjamin and I are in sync, so we don’t fight as much, which results in me blogging about him less (more like none). I mean, who wants to read me gushing about, “My baby just said his first word, y’all!” and, “My baby is rolling over!” or “My baby is eating solid foods now!” Yeah, it’s exciting for me and his mother, but you could care less, I’m sure. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. Although Benjamin and I are on better terms now, we still have our share of arguments. Just the other day, I had fallen asleep on the living room floor (and I can’t recall why I was on the floor in the first place). I couldn’t sleep peacefully because it was uncomfortable, so I decided to retire to my room and nap in the bed. Well, Benjamin and Shardae was in the bedroom. Benjamin was playing on the bed, and Shardae was doing whatever she does on the computer. I flopped down on Shardae’s side of the bed — because Benjamin was on my side — and I tried to go to sleep. Notice the emphasis on “tried.” As soon as I closed my eyes, Benjamin started screaming, probably fussing at me to get out of the bed. When I refused to leave, he started hitting me and kicking me, while keeping up his hollering. 

“Hey, boy!” I said. “You have your own room, and your own bed. If you have a problem with sharing my bed with me, then you know where you can go.” 

And with that said, I dozed off — intermittently, of course. The boy kept kicking, clawing, and screaming. His mother eventually carried him into his room, and the dispute ended with Benjamin and I napping for quite some time — separately. So, Benjamin and I still have disagreements on a daily basis, but nothing blog worthy. 

MsKatykins, you probably didn’t want a response that’s the length of an essay, so to make a long blog post short, “Benjamin’s fine. Just as active as ever. Thanks for asking!” 😉

Here’s a little something different to shake things up a bit.